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conundrum · Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 6:34 pm Post subject: Across The Freeway

Ajout des suggestions en parallèle (merci à Régis et Sandra).

Across The Freeway

Round and round up to the stars
Across the freeway
Headed for another rude awakening
My intentions to tame the beast // My intention's to tame the beast
So out of practice, with what I preach
Left me stranded here in the sand // You've left me stranded here in the sand

(refrain)
And I would never have thought // And I'd never have thought
That it could be this way
But I swear that it's real
No matter what you say
Though it lives without body, without a face // Though it lives with our body, without a face
I can feel it
And it feels so good
Like the open road
Yes it feels so good
And it's allright
Yes it's allright now

Gone the gentle windings
Of this roller coaster
The bitter fruit's so ripe that
You can taste it
I cannot move in and I will not stop // I cannot move and I will not stop
This metamorphosis' solid rock is
Crashing down wherever it lands // Crashing down wherever at last

Spark a reason // Spark the reason
Flash a lightning
And it feels like home

Régis · Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:09 pm Post subject: [Lyrics] Across The Freeway

Quelques petites suggestions pour Across The Freeway

1er couplet
My intentions to tame the beast
So out of practice with what I preach
Left me stranded here in the sand

2ème couplet
No matter what you say
Though it lives with our body
Without a face
I can feel it

3ème couplet
Gone the gentle windings
Of this roller coaster
The bitter fruit's so ripe that
You can taste it
I cannot move in and I will not stop
This metamorphosis' solid rock is
Crashing down wherever it lands

Voilà Wink

conundrum · Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 11:24 am Post subject:

Hop modif ajoutées à la première version.

sandra · Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:16 pm Post subject:

j'entends
Though it lives without body, or without a face

Crashing down wherever at last

q'en pensez vous?

Régis · Posted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 7:57 pm Post subject:

A la réécoute; je crois que c'est peut-être effectivement 'Though it lives without body', j'avais demandé à Conundrum de le corriger mais je suis moins sûr maintenant.

En revanche, puisqu'on est sur cette chanson, voici quelques suggestions qui je pense pourraient améliorer le texte:

My intention's to tame the beast
So out of practice with what I preach
You've left me stranded here in the sand

And I'd never have thought...

I cannot move and I will not stop (il n'y a pas le 'in' après move)

Spark the reason...

Sandra, je ne pense pas qu'il y ait le 'or' que tu suggères après 'without body' ou bien 'wherever at last' mais bien 'wherever it lands'...

Voilà, à toi Conundrum de faire les changements où bon te semble Wink

sandra · Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 12:52 am Post subject:

merci regis! Wink

j'ai juste fait à l'oreille! Laughing

conundrum · Posted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:33 pm Post subject:

Régis · Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:39 pm Post subject:

OK nouvelle percée peut-être:

My intentions to tame the beast
So out of practice with what I preach
Have left me stranded here in the sand

Cela fait plus sens... Cool

sandra · Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 3:45 pm Post subject:

merci regis! Wink

_________________

indianna · **Just having fun** Joined: 18 Jul 2006 Posts: 218

pourrait on l avoir au propre s il vous plait?